Inevitable Choices

I know this would have made a nice painting just as a train, but it was never intended to be that straight forward. For a long time I've been contemplating the reality that while we are all responsible for the choices we make in life, sometimes our options are pretty limited. This imagery has come back to me time and time again... sometimes it's like the only choices are to jump off the bridge or get hit by the train. Either way it's gonna hurt... and either way the choice is mine to make.

So the concept finally made it onto the canvas. 

While most people prefer to talk about "happy" paintings... like a happy little engine chugging down a track... I have found that my more emotive paintings are the ones that people are actually drawn to the most. They may have a hard time talking about them, but there is something in them that gives voice to feelings we are never taught or allowed to express. 

So here's another psychological painting to add to my repertoire. 

Renewal

Spring has always been my favorite time of year. It is when the world begins to wake up and start over. I love having the opportunity to wake up and start over. There are so many renewal opportunities build in to our existence. We have the opportunity to start fresh every single day. Our culture gives us a weekend so that we can start fresh at the beginning of each week. In my religion I practice spiritual renewal each week. 

As an artist I get to start new whenever I want. All I have to do is open my sketchbook and find a blank sheet, just waiting for me to fill it with whatever inspires me. I have a supply of blank canvases anxious for the first stroke of the brush. And I have a stock pile of old canvases willing to be painted over and made new again.

I think it's significant that before I can see the new blossoms in the springtime a lot of work has gone on below the surface. A seed had to soften and sprout and send out its roots. Those roots had to take hold and gain enough nourishment to send a sprout out through the soil and into the sunlight. And the sprout had to grow and develop a blossom. 

I so appreciate the opportunities I have to start anew. And yet, if I don't prepare myself for those opportunities how can I expect my efforts truly blossom? 

Moving Forward

This sketch was done on a day when I was remembering my brother who passed away in 1999. I was struggling and my thoughts and focus were on simply moving forward.

Moving forward isn't necessarily a linear process. For me it rather often starts with just a speck of hope and will from the center of my being. Then, 10 minutes at a time, I act on the promptings of that hope and that will. If I can keep listening, keep acting, and keeping believing, before long the speck has taken on a life of its own and suddenly there is something that I can really see and believe. 

Stuck

I'm stuck on a painting. I'm under contract for the author of a children's book, so it's not a painting I can share visually. But I'm trying to do a sour face and struggling with the fact that he keeps looking either angry or constipated! 

I've learned over the years that these are the problems that both make me crazy and make me love what I do. The struggle may not be fun, but once the puzzle is solved I am joyous. And that's what it is - a puzzle to be solved. What is that color combination, value adjustment, brush, stroke, or angle that I am missing that will suddenly make his face sing? Or pucker as the case may be... 

In the end there is only one way to find the solution... Get back to the canvas...